im saying...

insecured

2010-01-11T22:00:00.000-08:00

insecured...

currently im at Azman's place. playing the lappy. and i swear i m feeling insecure right now. i was left alone at his place while he went down to fetch Mummy, and then came home Azlan from sch. so everything was fine. mummy knew i was here. but everything change when mummy daddy and Azman came home. Mummy didnt smile. Daddy was alright. Yeah, they saw me in the living room playing the laapy. after which duh! i salam them la. Mummy didnt say a word. she went straight to the room Wth. i feel so guilty right now. i swear im not sure what did i do wrong. i swear i need to know.to know my mistakes n not to do it again. i tried asking Azman but well, i dont see that somehow or another he is going to tell me. right?? maybe cause he was afraid that i'll get hurt by what he's going to tell me. okay okay. im not jumping to conclusions. i dont want to. hey, it might hurt me, i think, but its better off if you tell me right?? anw, now mummy and daddy and mummy sister who just came by all siting at kitchen talking about work?? should be la. and i think mummy had a rough day at work. sigh. pity her. how i wish i could help though. hais... and its alraedy 830pm. Azman watching tv. Azlan in the room. Me blogging and webcaming with Azhar and... feeling super insecure and... super hungry!!!!:( i only ate hotdog at 12noon in sch. nothing else in my tummy right now. i can cry anytime sey. no la.. not cause i hungry only but all the feelings im feeling now. hurrhurr... HELP!!! what am i suppose to do now?? okay okay. wait, Mummy daddy actually talking about house, money wise, i mean they shifting out soon. hmm? oh ya. i know i've not been blogging since last yr. im sorry. been swear busy with everything especially with Azman:) forgive me.

i got so much to tell actually. but nvm la. when im free then i'll type aye?? kekkkeeee. oh ya, i just ate two pizzas two drumplets and few wedges. damn hungry. now quite full. ltr nk kuar with Azman. dont know go where. bye now.

love, Kat.
salam.

Fish.

2009-11-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

Fish. Fish. Fish.

What are you thinking abt me Fish? I think i need to know. What do you treat me as? Im treating like a friend of mine, maybe more than a friend. but not as date. I keep wondering why you dont want to tell me that you're attached. Why aren't you admitting? Cant i know? Why not? You've been with your girlfriend for two years already. Im not here to be the third party, to destroy your relationship. I swear i have no slight intention to do anything sort like that. Fish doesnt know that i know abt his status. How? i do not want to ask him straight to the point. I want to play around the bush and let him be the one confessing. but again how? i already try telling him stories abt me hating to be third party. but he doesnt seem affected at all. Why does he have to lie? Is he thinking something else in mid? Anyway, you have been very nice to me. I really appreciate the times you accompany me. Taking good care of my helmet and help me up to school. Sometimes even send me. Yalah, workplace, home and school all near near mah... Hahahaha!:)

So wait, back to the topic. Why do guys act strange sometimes? maybe most of the time? Is it true what Renney say to me?

'girl, kalau lelaki kene skit je dgn perempuan they might think differently. same goes to girls, kene skit ngan jantan da lain girl perasaan...'

Is it true? Am i in the blame right now? Or Fish? Or both? I just dont wanna get caught again by their lovely girlfriends and jumping to conclusion about me with their boyfriends. well, if they wanna flirt around with my boyfriend then by all means, go ahead girls. Sometimes i'll consider myself as a bitch. not to just guys but yes girls to. Bring it on non-BITCHES!!!

Fuck! wth am i talking about?! shit im confused. thats the fact though. im running out of words right now. I dont know how to explain my situation with Fish.

i gtg. brb...

i shall continue...

bye sweets,

love, Kat:)

GUNDU in d house

2009-10-22T01:35:00.000-07:00

GUNDU in da house!!!...

met B aka Ricko the other day. went to his place to help his sister out with some dance moves. well, lower sec sch kids. help here and there je. so yeah. simple simple. cause they still new and besides it was for fun and for sch. not much. just receive news that they finish doing the song. good lor. i use to be like them though when i just started. so cute la them. hahahaha! but they are still like shy shy like that. nvrm. everything you do needs a step at a time to move forward. brought my camera along. wanted to camwhore with the girls but they need to be home early. due to them i didnt attend sch. but hey, i aint blaming them. Kat kan gatal. skola tak nk! joget nak! ape je.. oops!:) sorry ppl.. so instead i cawhore with B. bukan die tak suke. hahahaha!:) thx dude! for camwhoring with me. i know its not much. sorry ler. batt cam low ler... my bad!:) so after which he book in and i went down to pasir ris to Wira's pit.

between Me and B...

please dont get the wrong idea between us. we may be close. too close as it seems in the pics above but nope nothing between us. we are just friends. trust me. okay maybe, close friends. nothing special. dont let me repeat. okay lovelies??:)

what is in the past, please remain it as in the past.

miss you GUNDU!:)

Wira's chalet...

there was Wira, Shazi, Azmin, Spark and our birthday boy, Jup Juppy!!!:)

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY JUP!!!

see i came down know. give you face la. lau tak jgn harap tau tau. birthday nye pasal. hahahaha!:) anw, ikhlas aku trun. so most pics at Wira's camera. wonder how to get it from him. anw, for now only two. again from my cam but batt flat.hurrhurr!:(

transfer me soon okay okay??thx Wira!:)

anw, i was early to school tdy. like first time plak tu siang. i was half an hour earlier then my timetable. had SW. erm know why? cause i ask F to send me to sch. oops! sorry ler... actually i ask him to wake me up so that i wont be late to sch. cause i know his working hours then Kat mcm siak mintak antar. after which he agrees. i was actually kidding, but he insist. so tak nk tolak rezeki ade di depan mate la kirekan ye. heh:) thx F!!!! pemalas sey Kat. padahal dekat siol sch with my place. so F, i owe you.. its sweet of you.

okay gtg.

love, KAT:)

im blogging

2009-10-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

finally im blogging. oops!(: sorry readers. sorry friends. i know i've been missing for quite long now. very long i mean. maybe been trying to move on? or should i say stand on my two feet again.now school has just started. i didnt come sch on mon, wed and fri too for last week. this week i didnt came to sch on mon and tues. many things happen within sept and oct. erm after the incident on my last post, two months ago, i was concentrating on fasting month. dance was on break. so left with sch and preparation for raye. my first trip to geylang was on the second week of sept. which after that it has been my routine ever seen. within 21 days, i think i went to bazzar for at least 10-15 days? for real.. i know. but trust me, i go bazaar not to shop. but to eat! oops! heh:) sorry.. my fav drink air selasih and food dengdeng. gagagaga. kat nak slim down? dunia terbalik kot?! malas la nak trun weight. unless i must to due to comps ler. but buat pe lau tak harus. kat gemok ke kurus ke. buruk ke lawa ke. tetap same. im still who i am. kan kan kan??:) anw, went out with random friends and meet random ppl there too. to kill time agaknye. i always pray not to see anyone though. but how to right? from long lost friends, to exdates, to exbf, to dance mates, to enemies?? sigh... and most importantly,i want to bring up, i incoincidencely saw Azman and Kip with Mummy and Azlan. i was with Bb Eliza Nina Nisa Ridwan and Asfar chilling under the train track. We were all laughing our ass out talking crap. yelah, sec mates. miss so much. catchup with life. i wasn't looking around not bothering ppl around me when Kip shouted my name. oh my! i was super duper shock. actually as always la kan whenever i dont expect to see he or she. and there they was. as i mention earlier on. so to be nice. i salam all and say bye? hahahaha. after which Azman ask me Q's like, what time heading home? with who? how you guys gets home? blalalalalala. and i keep saying pape text. cause to be honest. malas nak layan si panas baran tu. shheesh. sorry Azman but i was seriously was. padahal my ppd low know. so off they went sent Mummy and Azlan off to home. pendek kan citer they fetch me and Bb at joo chiat. so the past came back for the four of us. thats how our journey started.....

ill upload pics soon. currently my hardisk is with Bb. so yeah.. the pics will explain more i think?hahahaha:) whatever..

including bulan puase pics,which mostly i went to geylang. with random friends.

about my lovely raye,which is so not. i wont be saying much just pics i think.cause i didnt raye much. sad i know..hurrhurr. didnt raye with ite friends. didnt raye with mira. didnt raye with sec sch frineds. didnt raye with Bb. only family and of cos LNT<3!!!:)>

to Nina, Eliza and Fazlina...

i hope you guys are reading this.

you know how much we spent our times together during our sec sch yrs? especially chill at my house most of the time. lol:) yeah, you guys know yourself that my whole family knew you all. so the other day, my mum was saying,

mum "kakak, mane nina? kate nak dtg dtg for raye?tak nmpk pun batang hidung die?ape je.."

me "entahla mama.. busy kot. biarlah.. tak kesah..hmm?"

mum "da lame dorg tak dtg rumah ekh?"

me *silence

abg herman "ah kak, other then nina sape yg muke akan akan nina tu?"

me "sape?eliza?"

abg herman "ah! mane die? da lame tak dtg rumah?dulu slalu dtg. with the chinese looking girl also, fazlina. skrg bb je rajin."

me "biaselah.busy.. nina higher nitec. za poly mah... faz ntah. lol. hmmm?"

i went into my room and telling myself.

"hey BITCHES!!!miss miss you guys larrrrr!!!! hahahahahaha!:)"

okay okay... will edit and update soon!!!

see ya readers...

and im going KL this fri!:)

WWUUUHHHUUUU!!! HERE I COME KL!!!:))

*ssshhhhh... bye singapore! *brb

love Kat:)

sob for you

2009-08-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

to you,

thats it! thanks for everything. i was sobbing last night because of you. thanks for all the hopes. thanks for all the trust. thanks for all the concern. thanks for all the hug. thanks for all the kisses. thanks for all the care. thanks for all the messages and calls. thanks for being there for me. thanks for all the wake up call. thanks for believing. thanks for all the laughters. thanks for the love? thanks for the challenge!

guess i won the challenge you have challenged me. thanks for losing in this game. look who is the one couldnt stand with who. look who is the one giving up and decide to move on instead of waiting. look who is the one " sanggup ke tak sanggup?" told you so, "im patience".

you throw all my love that i treasured for you. i thought you showered me yours too but guess i was wrong about it. everyday, every hour, every mins, every secs its you that i see always. both in my mind and heart. all these have to put to a stop. no point! no point having this feeling anymore.

me: " hey i know its late. sorry to disturb you at this timing. i dont think this concerns you at all, maybe it does but just a lil a bit?i dont know. or you knew... but just wanna let you know i just misses you very much. hope to see you soon. really... and i'll look for your blue baju kurung okay okay??:)) sorry kalau irritating, night sweets! "

you: "kat. sorry i didnt reply your msg. just to let you know that im attached now. about the baju kurung. im sorry. my parents suroh tukar colour. sorry for everything. "

i couldnt reply. i didnt reply. just as easy as that right dude? i couldnt sleep last night. thinking about it and sobbing too much. i keep reading your messages. is it just a reason? to avoid? am i supposed to believe it? whatever... i kept your first few messages. i read it again, maybe before i would delete it... it makes me smile but it ends me crying again. gosh! i couldnt stop and handle it. sorry...

im not disappointed with you. im disappointed with myself. failed in love again. great! just great! fifth time in a row for this year. congrats to Kat??

oh ya, i have a huge hatred to guys right now. sorry guys. maybe im just not being lucky. nah, guys? forget it. trusting you? will take years now. thanks to the bunch of guys that i date. sorry...

me: "i hope you'll forgive me. i seriously do. im sorry. but please stop contacting me. i dont want to have any relations with you at all. sorry. forget me. thanks! "

i sent this to my closest guy friend and a date of mine. im sorry guys. forgive me to end 'us'. how i end up with guys pull me downs each time. yes, im a bastard! Kat is a Bastard!!!.. i agree, i admit i am...

to date,

im sorry that i have to this to you. getting you involve in the situation. but i couldnt help it. im sure you can find someone better than me. im sure someone out there would treat you better than i did. i need to let go everything. please forgive me. dont hate me. but if you do, its okay i understand. please dont jump to conclusion that i have someone else in mind, use to though. well, i dont. after what you read, you might understand why. SORRY...

lastly, to you,

hey, i really hope you're happy with the girl you with now. i pray both to have a longlasting relationship and be happy always. you happy, i more happy! :))) no worries. i can assure you i dont hate you. we are still friends you know!:) maybe we are better off as friends?? and im happy for you. like i said im not disappointed with you. its me dude. so do take care of yourself. and of course your dearie. would like to meet her one day?:))) hahahahahaha... just beep me anytime aye? i hope you read this mr! * wink wink *

love, Kat...

miss LNT

2009-08-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

im in class right now. ending soon. just posting something short. i think. anw, what is on my mind right now, is what am i doing ltr. i got dance prac for this sat's performance. but im not in the mood to perform for this sat. im sorry everyone. im just not up to it. im just not confident for this show. forgive me... still deciding to come down or not. sigh...

i got assingment to do. partnering with nana k. but she is no where to be found. she meets yanbo outside class, so ya. see why im blogging instead?

i miss Rosziana Bibi. sorry girl for not attending prac and fail to meet you.

this friday im heading back to my sec sch. its teachers day. they are celebrating. wuhuuuu! i was supposed to do a come back performance but cancelled in the end. disappointed a bit but nah its okay. i'll still come down though. canat wait to meet the rest. not sure what to wear. aint attending class. yup yup!:)

its fasting month. im alright. still maintaining. just craving for BotakJones' mashed potato with cheese. wanna make for myself today if im breaking fast at home. hmm, and im still dont have any intention to break fast early. congrats.

i was bloghopping just now.

i was looking thru my crew mate's profile. Kiki especially...

really, to be honest... i miss the whole bunch of LURVE n TERM.

been missing prac for quite sometime. quite long maybe.

since then i didnt meet them.

miss all the fun they had. miss all the outings they make. miss all the stories they told. miss heading all the way to BBcc. miss simply evrything.

im not kidding. i feel down whenever i give a thought when im heading back to prac as usual.

i hope you guys hear me out there, I MISS YOU GUYS DEADLY!!!:((

i'll come down soon okay? i meet you guys. we update update aye??

wanna dance again with you ppl. raye again ramai ramai.

okay, im not crying.. please.. hold back hold back Kat!

sorry...

you know 'i love you'...

forgive me...

i wanted to attend this thurs for prac but i still have unfinished shooting. they promise thurs will be the last and finishing touch and also last scene. i hope so. cause i need to get my feet back to dance prac. i really do. scheduled always touch my tues and thurs. damn it. what to do. hey, is not that im not sincere helping but i freaking need to learn to manage my time. i admit im bad at it. totally... :(( my sunday is booked for yckcc comittment. sigh... ugh!

addictive to you?

2009-08-25T00:22:00.000-07:00

i know you have feelings for me. its obvious and you admit it yourself. im not sure if you're serious being with me. but im not ready to have anything serious with you yet. i just know you. you're just my date. you know that. your moves you done for me, i wont fall for that easily. how sincere you are i just need time to believe it so. sometimes you are too nice to me. too gentlemen for me. too sweet to me. too good for me. when myself? i dont treat you the same. im sorry but this is me. dont think i deserve guys like you. im sure you can find better girls out there who can treat you the same. you kept thinking about me, thats what you said, but in my mind is not you. its someone else. you should know who im referring to. i told you about him, remember?. you sacrifice for me too much already. and please, you know, I DONT NEED ALL THIS...

1.waited for me for an hour just to accompany me for dinner.
2.accompany me till 2am,waiting for kak zea's arrival which end up she didnt.
3.took taxi home and i know you're tired but still waited.
4.wait for me under my block for hours just to send me to school. without telling me.
5.wait patiently for my text when i dont reply your msges for days.
6.accompany me from home to joo chiat to prac and i force you to head home cause you wanna stayed.
7.fetch me from shoot,send me to prac,wait till prac ends, send me home and head home again.
8.give me cash when you find out i dont have cash. wth?!sacrifice your own money for what?!?! goodness!!!
9.and your blog!...

like i said, its too much. you know i wont say yes and agree whatever you want to do for me. you still did and make white lies to me. how stubborn can you be? tell mama about me? whats all that for?again?... im not being not appreciating your deeds at all. i do. i seriously appreciate everything you did for me. but again im not falling for it. and the reason i dont like it and accept it cause i feel wrong, i feel guilty... im just treating you as my date. again, date doesnt mean i have feelings for you. my mind, my heart, my feelings is to someone else. dont i sound like a bastard to you?!?! i know you would want to see something between us. but not now. i need time. im sorry. but i love being your friend,i seriously do.

maybe most people around me hates you. but i dont see why i should hate you too. you didnt do wrong to me. maybe you did in the past to them but it doesnt involves me. so im okay. and i hope people dont hate me cause im being friends with you. i love to keep my friends. i treasured my friends. so dont get easily influent by what others say. im not. unless he/she do something bad to me then i have a reason for hating. i hates when people talks about me, disturbed me when sees me with the person they hate. whats the point? none of us is disturbing others, why bother?

hey,one thing for sure...

i know you're not comfortable with them.

but they are my friends.

i hope you understand...

will be meeting you later. i think. breaking fast...

but you not fasting!

ASS:)))

hahahahahahaha...

kurus kurus, haiz...

love, Kat:)))

involve again?

2009-08-24T02:08:00.000-07:00

i just read your post. even though your post has been a month ago but im still concern. as usual... i have something to do with it. and why? this is not the first time dude. why is it always me the one getting involve with you and some other girls or maybe even your relationship? why? why other girls thats into you always pull me in the conversations and fights?! ape sey...

HEY GIRLS! GET A LIFE!!!:) if you want him than by all means have him all you want. i dont give a damn! i dont lose a thing! tak de pompan lain nye name ke nak g sebut? asyik KAT je... eh! tak penat ekh? sikit sikit KAT sikit sikit KAT!!!!ugh!

well, i got nothing to do with him. we're just friends. close perhaps. but thers nothing to get jealous about! im not attached to him. he is not mine! get it GIRLS????

yes i admit, me and him are close, maybe too close at certain times. but again get in mind that "IF YOU WANT HIM THEN TAKE HIM" we are strictly "FRIENDS".. the next thing you have to do is wait if he does want you too or not. its him who decides not me!!!

Once you have him, its between YOU and HIM. not YOU ,HIM and ME??

so again dont get me involve...

thanks!:)

love,KAT:)

clueless of you

2009-08-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

dear YOU,

everyday i kept thinking of YOU and missing YOU so much.the last time we met and we hang out was on 090809.its been two weeks without noticing.giving up?not yet.im not sure what have become of YOU and me?where have YOU been all this while?after your trip YOU went silence.i can understand that YOU're lazy but being too lazy will not help.what if someone get in YOUr way?who to be blame?me?i tried to be patience with YOU.the one kept looking for YOU is me.not YOU?!?!still have the idea of raye-ing with me,guess so uh?sigh... YOU change thats for sure. YOU weren't like this before. but im still being patience here. i dont wanna mama to ask about YOU. cause if she do i have no answers for her. from there she will start to blame me. we ever talk about 'who can tahan with you' is this part of it? i cant be myself, i cant kept quiet, if i do, YOU will come across my mind. yes,someone is there for me now.yes,someone is trying his best to be there for me.but is not YOU.and im not being comfortable here when my mind is just YOU inside and im just layan-ing someone else.. YOUr name has been always spoke by me to people. even he knows about YOU. even she knows about YOU. i dont hide my feelings that i have towards YOU. im not shy to have YOU in my mind and my heart. maybe YOU're just being lazy to entertain girls. just wanna enjoy with YOUr friends. lazy to have this disturbing feelings.i text you,no replied.i called you,you answered, talk to me as usual and always end the call by saying 'i call you back later' but nope, YOU did not return my call. and always treated as if YOU did nothing wrong. we dont talk everyday, we dont meet up everyday, i cant be the one calling YOU everyday. searching for YOU.now my ppd is low. im just disappointed with YOU. but im forcing and pushing myself to think POSITIVE.i never blame YOU. never did. never will. missing YOU sooo much. sigh... YOU start the fire!its YOU! i hate 2009. i just hate it alot. this isnt my first time been treated this way in this year!all i did was just being patience... hey, ive been THREE YEARS FIVE MONTHS and still ongoing for single status. like i always say to him, if YOU're can take it then its good enough. whenever im ready,YOU're not. im not giving up just yet. im still waiting. im still am. YOU get it? just wanna know if YOU do have and want something between us. cause if YOU dont,i can be patience but i do not want to waste time.so? i need answers.

i hope you read my post.

importantly,"I MISS YOU DEADLY"...

please contact me or text me soon.

i wanna hear from YOU...

love,Kat

misses

2009-08-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

currently, im in a state of... errrr... missing everyone? i miss most everyone. wondering why...

miss my pri sch friends. miss my sec sch friends. miss my girlfriends. miss my dance mates. miss my cousins. miss people who have brought me up. miss people who see me grow. miss my neighbours.okay i dont know why...but mostly i miss mr.Kental!!!
"aku rindu banget sama kamu sih"

to mr.Kental,

i know yesterday i make a mistake.and im sorry...im truly am.
i was busy with shooting at home then after it was wrap up i went to cc for prac.after that i received msges from Zat.my sweet senior and lovely friend.Zat came down with Hasrul and Faizal.all are senios too.we meet up at cc then chill somewhere near.Me kak Zea and Bb all smelled badly.trust me we are.all sweating.lol:) we had wonderful conversations sampaikan Bb and Kak Zea miss their last bus.No worries cause our lovely heroes is there.Faizal with super4 Hasrul with Gxs,i think not sure what bike also.and Zat with scrambler.
The guys planned to head to johor and i decided to tag along.So they waited for me,i went home and took a bath.after that meet them again.So all of us send Bb first follow by KakZea.guess what?kelakar gile ekh dorg!hahahahaha!you know i know ar...okay then,Hasrul then fetch KakIza while Zat me and Faizal meet them in the middle of some express way towards woodlands checkpoint.three of Hasrul's friends tag along with us too.
i didnt entertain my hone cause i was with 'GUYS' but im the type who dont really like to be busy with phone when out with friends.and plus i was on the bike.anyway,at kastam,i checked my phone and total of 20 miss calls i received from "mr.Kental"!!!oh gosh.im sorry.
i text him told him that i was already at kastam making my way in to johor which i know i wont take long.he didnt believe me at first cause it is something mendadak gitu.i know he was angry or maybe even frust.but ya...my bad.i didnt inform him earlier.sorry.should have i guess.so enter johor pump minyak then take e break for awhile then we head back to Singapore.told you i wont take long.as what i promised to mr.Kental that i text him once i reach singapore.yes,by this time he was really angry but i understand la.so no to worry...
i was home around 4.30am.i called mr.Kental.we talk otp for abt an hour which then i was dead asleep within few mins.otp,i find out that he called mama to reassure that i wasnt lying to him and i was outside.didnt see why he have to actually.not sure whether mama was disturbed in her sleep.however wanna say this to you,

"tal,im sorry to make you worry.im sorry i didnt pick up your calls.im sorry that i didnt inform you earlier.im sorry that i make a mistake.im sorry to make you loose trust in me.im promised that i would not make the same mistake.i promised it wont happen again.and i swear that i never lie to you anything.whatever happens yesterday,whatever i told you,who i was with,i wasnt lying.i dont mind gaining my trust back from you.i know you are angry with me and you dont wanna me to know so.but hey,i know you not only yesterday.i truly understand if you frust with me.forgive me..."
.

love,
your 'Noh'

to my BFF!!!!* i love you

2009-07-29T01:54:00.000-07:00

to my BFF,

ROSHAZMIRA bte ...... ...

i wanna apologise to you for not wishing you on your birthday.i should be at least

one of the top ten,maybe? to be msging you and wishing you.but nope, i didnt and

i wasn't.forgive me mira...i feel so guilty right now.im sorry.please forgive me.im so

sorry.F*** i didnt forget sumpah i didnt.i wrote it in my schedule but i didnt check

it recently.im sorry.and my phone...ppd was low.im sorry...Gosh:(

forgive me girl.

and why am i always broke at the wrong timing??sigh...im just not the good

Bff.how i wish i could redeem my mistakes to you babe.wishing belated aint fine to

me.so bad sey KAT!!!:(

hey babe,i wish you read this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BFF

ROSHAZMIRA!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

(27/07/92)

hey sweet,harap panjang umur dan murah rezeki.good luck and all the best in

whatever you do.may you succeed in future.have a great life ahead.da tue lebs aku

ni satu.hahahaha!:) finally ke girl??anw,please choose any date/day within next

week.do update me your schedule.i treat you out.i buy you present.i do you

surprises.can?i hope you could make it.i feel so wrong la.forgoodness sake

la.yeah,

i know you said 'i trust you remembering it'...still?ugh!

sigh...girl,this yr is like our 13th year friendship and still on going...yeah i know

theres just so much ups and downs we been thru together and memories that still

fresh kept in mind.i just hope that our friendship wont end just like that.

lastly,i wanna wish you again a

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY!!!

i miss you cb.

hahahahahahahaha

you know i love you...

love,

Kat:)

yeah you read

2009-07-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

LATEST DANCE COMPETITION!!!

hey mr.KENTAL again!:) hahahahaha.yeah you read it.so eager ar you.haiyo...you not suppose to read it actually.but its important to let you know how i feel towards mr.ego.stop saying all that to me cause he's not.i'll explain to you more when i meet you okay.kinda waiting for your attendance in sch next thurs.pick me up from sch one day okay?hahahahaha.mcm bored la gitu tak de sape sape nak skali skale fetch ni KAT pat school.hahahahaha.wanna try la.i ask my brother pun tak nk.kate je okay okay.sigh.stupid irresponsible brother.padahal rumah dkt sey KAT?!?!gagagagaga.alah once in awhile manje manje.lol:) okay talking bullshit.anw you alrd promise to treat me watch movie know!better fulfilled uh!i'll wait.hahahahaha.oi goblok glad you dead sleeping alrd.good good.today i got dance prac sey.but i end school at six then ade shooting lagi.haiyo... been missing prac for quite sometime alrd.sorry guys.have to settle two shooting by end of this week.oh ya!mr.KENTAL you alrd book me on nine august.so you better come!:) come with someone to accompany okay?dont come alone.erm didnt see my motivation man in sch YET!hahahahahaha.nah just playing...

hakim and me have been talking and planning to organize a DANCE COMP!hahahahahha.really,we just did...

"ITE COLLEGE WEST DANCE COMPETITION" any genre etc ballet,contemporary,tap dance,belly dance,pole dance,splitting and more....only within COLLEGE WEST.hahahahaha.judges will be HAKIM and KAT!and obviously it will held on our B-E-A-U-tiful ROOM at ITE COLLEGE WEST AMK CAMPUS!:) stage will be in our air conditioned theaterette!freaking cold.bring sweater along.guest performance is SECRET!expect the unexpected!

FIRST PRIZE- FREE UNIFORM of ITE COLLEGE WEST...

SECOND PRIZE- A PACKET EACH of OREO!!!sponsored by CO-OP..

THIRD PRIZE- A PACKET EACH of PILLOWS!!!sponsored by CO-OP also...

CONSOLATIIONS- SLIPPER each GROUP,also again sponsored by very own CO-OP..

THEME- MASCOT

registration fee- $5

CREWs registered currently:
1) CHARLIE'S ANGELS
2)COFFEE BE-ANs
3)G31
4)LEMON TEE
5)VOGUEANJALICIOUS
6)4OT
7)FUCK THEM RETRIFIED

*can be registered thru my tagboard.
everyone is welcome.admission:50cents.
audience dress code BAJU MELAYU!!!:)
much appreciated...registration its still open.competition will be HARI RAYA!!!itself.so see you there!!!

loves,
GORGEOUS MAD KAT & HAKIMMY BABY:):):)

i miss simply everyone.went down to D'SHOWCASE @ scape on sat.but came late with bb.sigh...should have come earlier.miss kinda alot sey...ugh!hate myself.but i freaked out went i came down from the bus.sumpah ekh?!DANCERS smue bersepah pe.seriously evryone is like everywhere.my eyes was like up and down side to side.okay tu da merepek.anyway i miss the good ones.sorry to my love ones,friends.didnt make it to watch you guys dance.was so shock to see MIRA,my sweetest bestfriends.thx girl tak blg that you enter.CONGRATS though by getting third plac efor twice stright comps in LAH DE FUSE too.you make me proud.oh ya CONGRATS too to FUNKYSTYLERS for clingching FIRST PLACE twice straight too for LAH DE FUSE.hahahahaha.COOL SHIT la you guys.irfan papa kiki and rainy was there too.glad to see you larrr....alep too!nice costume you got there VOGUELICIOUS!:) oh ya,met up with nina for awhile at cineleisure to take back my phone!she brought home lar.GOD!cant live without my phone sey...one night can alrd erm...you know la what i mean hahahahaha.okay after that she went off.nina was from a DATE!i just read her latest post.wanna ask her who she referring to.as in the guy who came back.i know a few.wondering who.nina sape nina???tell me tell me.
so okay.i wanna apologise to bb cause i left her alone for quite sometime.ade sikit tu kite ilang jap.sorry la girl.you know i know.sorry babe.accept my apology aye?really am.sorry... :(
EG!!!oh they were there.guest performance lagi.cool pe!so shock ekh.thx is9di tak bilang.wth!haiyo...but ya is9di lupe steps rabak.lol:) apa da lu.then results then end of evrything...there was red carpet in the middle.eg was having a crazy time on the red carpet.hahahahaha.it was so funny.catwalk la ape la...kak dian was nuts too.so worried about her leg la.kak dian...kak dian... is9di as usual slap me.gadoh tak bes bes.get me involve for this pity girl.kesian sey...so mean is9di.where's my stuff??hmm...okay okay.after that just chill at scape je.tak ke mane.had our first dinner there too.and thx is9di for introducing me mashed potato with cheese.okay tau KAT slow.then send bb home.sweet kan KAT.aaawwww.....hahahhahaha. okay okay saw joshua!then out of the blue ask me out to club?!?hahahahaha.and joshua said "kat,you nver change a bit."okay,fine its kinda true.after graduate i didnt do anything to myself.only rebonding but takde beza la actually.oaky then went back to scape.at 12 plus i head home.was waiting and expecting mr.KENTAL's call or text but so sad.he didnt.suppoose to meet him on sunday but it was cancel.sigh...too tired la he.so i fully understand.was hoping but wasn't expecting.anw we are okay tak gadoh.due due step mrajuk je.sorry la mr.KENTAl.gagagaga.sunday pun actually i got something on.so since he wanted to meet me so he need to come down to yckcc where i was handling some annoying leaders.ugh!pasal bilik pun nak gado then pull me in!freak...

so mr.KENTAL hope to see you this weekend!dont forget to go for training okay this sat:)

mr.ego?

2009-07-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

hello mr.KENTAL!!!
im not sure if i could believe you that you really have feelings for me.you say that so.but its not easy for me to trust you.you are like close friends with that mr.EGO.or maybe even bestfriends?best buddies?you keep telling me that you do not like him like how i hate him too.you told me lots of stuff.especially about you and him?that freaking egoistic guy!but theres so many alternatives and which is negative that ive been thinking abt.im sorry.i sorry that i have this naive thinking.but i cant help it.how i wish i have powers to read you.i dont know how you gonna prove it to me.but please do so.erase all this hectic naive thikin of mine towards you.please do so.just have to be patience.meeting you up aint be easy.youve been busy working and schooling at the same time.i truly understand.its okay.even my weekdays are eat up by alot of things.cant wait for the weekend to meet you up!wanna see your face again!nobody knows how i really feel and think about you.all the time...sigh!
and people!mr.EGO!!!!i hate you!dont think i have feelings left for you.just do me a favour by FUCK OFF from my life!i would appreciate if you do so!even my lovely classmates hates you so dont think you are too hot to even get their number forheaven sake!im wanting for he right time to give a hit on you.please can i slap you?at least?hahahhaha.say yes!lol:) okay slapping you is just in my dreams.im nuts.just mad about MUHAMMAD NOH BIN NASIR!!!
Mr.KENTAL,take your time.wanna gave you hug!miss ya dude.sssshhhhhh...

no ain't believing it

2009-07-27T02:16:00.000-07:00

oh my god! cant believe you talk to me lar. wth?! hahahahahaha. gosh! you freak me out.melting pe?!?!lol:) that was a nice conversation. thanks for stepping another step further by talking to me. really unexpected.happy yes i am.glad yes i am.well,its a step for us to be FRIENDS...

and i knew it.

just as i thought.you already had someone.im not here to break anyones relationship.im not.people dont get it wrong.like i say i didnt wanna make the first moves.lucky i didnt.yes i do have crush on him,but its just a crush lar.i just like his flawless skin.thats all.i know my limits. go to school for him?maybe.. hahhahaha.oops! but its just a part of my motivation sey. gagagagagagaga.

wanna know if he's interested to watch me on nine august??

its okay if he doesn't.its okay if he already had plans.and its okay if he brought along his love one.well,i'll be most welcome to meet her la.make more friends.who knows it might be my own friend.kan COOL!!!:)

*smile

#smile (filling up drink)

*you alone?

#(look around)erm...ya,i am.for now?(smile)

*haha.so have you eaten?(washing hands and mouth)

#ya,i just did.yourself?

*erm ya,i already had.what time your class ends?

#six?you?

*roughly there too.

#you just came right?!

*no lar.came earlier but ya had my break now actually.

#haha.okay..(giggles)

some fly/bee fly near us.hahaha.it was funny and cute.wanted to laugh out loud but maintained.gosh!tk brani la katekan.uh... and ya...

*now the bee is attracted to me?!

#ya right.hahaha.guess so.

*yes serious.im using pollen?!(im not sure what i heard actually,sorry)

#ya right.okayyy...hahahaha

*well,im sweet!:)

#hahahahahahhahaaha

so yeah,i went off.both went off.hahahaha.erm okay...thats all la.hahahaha

okay,and sriously i didnt call him.thx to nana kambing!haiyo!call him for nth.i didnt knw how to react.at last i waved!gosh!malu or what...okay okay tu je....

lol:0 so tmr sch again.goin to sch la.durr....

guilty,sorry...

2009-07-24T05:24:00.000-07:00

hey,i wana talk about this ''Mr.SMR"...
i've been seeing you three days straight.oh god!heart pumping whenever i see you.yeah,guess you find out that i have crush on you.thx to people that stands around me.well,its just a crush nothing much.nothing serious...whenever i attend,i cant wait to see you.terserempak, a glance also wil do.hahaha! but,now i feel guilty.towards everything.everything seems so clear right now.seems so obvious to you.oh gosh!im scared to face you now.lucky its already weekend sey... wait!i need words to express what really my heart is feeling.F***!

okay,ill try.erm...my intention is just to be friends nothing more than that.it doesnt matter if you already have someone.cause that does not bothers me.well,we already had our first conversations.now the only thing i wanna do now is to stop seeing you and start from the begining.i feel guilty whatver that happens within these few days.im just scared that you will think that i have different intention,maybe bad...i dont know.sometimes i tell myself
'siak ar,aku da mcm pompan gatal sey..shok sendiri!wth!'

i do feel embarrased about myself.i know i was the one started by noticing you.it happen way months ago.now everyone knows about it.including you.you are not suppose to know actly.but ya,you know why...i hope youre not thinking bad about me.cause im not!i am noy what you think i am.pompan gatal?gosh!tell about it.seriously,just now,in the equipment room,im not sure whether you're shy or you're scared to face me.its seems like im the one making the first moves?OH NO!!!way NOOO!!!uh uh!i hate that.i do not want to be labelled that.if possible i would want you to do the first move.which you already did but,ugh! why?why?why? okay i know my cuz is trying to match make us somehow. but i wont agree so if i do have crush on him,so what?!i wont wanna make the moves.

okay,i dont know what im talking right now.im just so stress about everything.about 'mr.SMR' about tomorrow,about sunday,about a new 'Mr' entering my life.about school.about dance.about production competition,about....what else?!hurrhurr.

oh and,to the new 'mr',i would like to thank you for being honest and straight forward with me.thx for noticing me since you i know you for the first time appreciate it lots.thx for waiting to make the first move at the right time,i guess.

alright,ill continue tmr.i hope!:)

Happy 25th Birthday!!!:)

2009-07-22T01:51:00.001-07:00

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY

ABG ENAL!!!

hey,i know i already wish you but today is the official date you turning 25! so wanna grab the chance and wish you again...

once again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ABG ENAL!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUU...

hello my lovely sweet brother,harap panjang umur dan murah rezeki!

lead a happy life especially with your future wife!

remember y0u goin to b a husband soon!a year aint far tau.hahaha:)

be successful in life! have kids! even grandchildren!

jangan naughty naughty iye??:)

Happy 21th Birthday!!!:)

2009-07-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

Happy 21th Birthday

ABG ZULFADHLI!!!

hey,i know we already happily celebrated your independent 21st birthday...i hope the surprises you had on pialarajapanggung was a wonderful and touchy one.wanna say congratulations cause endang make thru to the finals!well.im proud and the costumes all its nice,sweet but i think you can better than that for future comps?i have faith in you.so dont stop,you have just started!!!:) abg zul,our friendship started in the year of 2007 till now,still continuing.and this is year is where you received a present from me,first time?hahaha.i really hope you like it cause i had hard time deciding and finding your lovely watch!:) sorry that i took it out from the box and give it to you..i just didnt know how to give it to you.i was running out of idea.didnt want to wrap cause its too typical...thats what i thought.hey,.would like to see you next time wearing it! i'll be happy totally!hahahaha:)

hmm...can sing for you??just once?...

ALLAH SELAMATKAN KAMU!

ALLAH SELAMATKAN ABG ZULFADHLI!!!

ALLAH SELAMATKAN KAMU!...

harap panjang uumur dan murah rezeki. cepat cepat la habiskan ns tu.hahaha.be good aye?:)

bile nak cari jodoh abg??hahahahaha.okay okay.be someone successful okay.i know you will...da da jgn nangis!oops!alright...

miss you.see you soon!:)

quick update?i think:)

2009-07-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

hey Kat here.duh!like finally im writing something right?!yes i know..actually things now getting more hectic then ever.im sorry for the long missing in action thingy.not that i didnt wanna update but there's so much to write.i dont know where to start from.and and and...actually most of my post is save as draft.hahahaha.oops!so left editing and posting it.but till now i dont have the time too.now in class,in mac lab.this is just a quick post.cause got to study...(ya as if i listen in class).so ya,i only update my links actually.thats all.again im sorry.really i wanna post.theres so much to tell la.haiyo...and i receive so much complain for not updating.chill my blog is not having spider webs yet.hahahaha.okay okay...

here it goes...
summary...

may:)
-16may my wonderful sweet seventeen celebration!:)
*the returned of mr.someone.sigh...
thats all i can remember in may actually...for now...hmmm?

june:)
-rehearsal and more rehearsal for GENTARASA09!
-13june the great awesome performance of GENTARASA09!!!
-14june Kakzea 19th birthday?
-14 june IVP 'finals'
-15june ANWAR's farewell :( ns...
-another mr.somebody came back after 2yrs!ugh.another 'love story' was told.confessions was made.the truth were out.
-sheesha and sheesha and sheesha
-not back for three days.
-sentosa with REFRESH and Gee and Oneroc and Faque:)
-dance prac as usual.training as usual.
-preparing of LAH!defuse comp!!!!jengjengjeng.
-mr.Shrek haiyo...problems again?!?! what more you want girl??
-matno's released
oh god!thats alot...phew!

july:)
-abg ayid and farhan and izi NS!!! goodluck:)
-kak dian's birthday!yipee...
-ice age3! fully lol!laugh laugh laugh gagagagaga
-okay what now between u n me??
-loca's birthday.nice cake!kude gile oi!hahahaha
-is9di birthday is tmr.16july...where is my present first??:)
-abg zul's birthday is 19july.oh god oh god...haiyaaaaaa :)
-piala raja panggung dk comp!see ya ppl.19july too @ kampong chai chee cc.
-MDIS comp cancel due to h1n1!!!FUCK LAR!looking forward for that comp sey.kanasai!UGH!!!dump sch..just find out ytd.
-showcase @ scape 5pm onwards...dance comp!coming down to see.lalalalalala:0
-LAS...papa's sister's wedding!baju kurung time!hahahahaha:)
-I LOVE HIMMM!!!!fantasy*

okay okay.i need to go to find presents and i think kak ziah is alrd waiting for me.oops!sorry..okay gtg.!thats all now BRB!!!

love you!:)

he returned

2009-05-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

giving him second chance?why should i?im not sure too myself.only a month ago then you realise you really want me back?you then realise you love me so?i know you for feaking two yrs.i know you well enough.i waited for you for a yr plus,and when i decide to move on,you came back to me?why now?i thought you move on far enough...we are more like friends,or maybe bestfriends where we share our thoughts,feelings,secrets,problems...evrything but now you want more?we use to be special to each other before,but you dump me badly,you put me aside suddenly...you cheated my feelings.faking with me abt love all the time,what makes you think that i trust you when comes to love?sorry sikit...seriously,i trust you.whatever you say i believed,but automatically if you talk or say abt love between you and me?haha.dont watse your time...;i wont trust.im not sure why,dont ask me,ask yourself.i know you wanna start anew,i shouldnt have remember the past but too bad,before was hurt soo much.i cant forget and its not easy to take it..

the shooting

2009-05-26T00:18:00.001-07:00

"the book of shadows..."

hahahahhaha.was having sch production...a short film tittled 'the book of shadows'.i was chosen to be the main character.hahaha.wth?!?!and the character was to be a little girl,being the fantasy fantasy type and died in the end.haiyo...Deva the director ask me to wear colourful dress,tie two ponytails and thick make up,to carry out the character.sigh...its so not me.but why not being diff?!hahaha.once in awhile...thanks to Ichan shades that he brought along.AWESOME!make me look 'vogue nyahhh'.hahahaha.so ya!and we took pics.DUH!!!:) it was tiring yet fun...nice pics guys!:)

happy looking @ the model of the day...lol:)

more will be upload.i gtg now.meeting anuar then go gtr.wanna print some shit pics first.lol:)sorry for the tidy pics.rushing la...later i edit okay syg .hahahahahaha.

p.s sorry about spoiling by wearing slipper.cause firstly,is part of the wardrobe and the location is at my area.so yeah...you know what i mean.lol:)

this is Ichan.my elder brother in the story.he is also one of the character.actually only the two of us in the act.hahaha.the other character is PONTIANAK!haha.crap.lol:)hahaha...we look like really siblings ekh??:)

theres more actually.slowly...not now.hahahaha.kinda busy with lots of stuff.theres alot that i wanna update.just waiting for the time.sorry ppl...BRB:)

kisses,huggies.

KAT is MAAADDDD!!!!!!:)

my phase test

2009-05-14T01:36:00.000-07:00

this is my phase test for digital photography class.

take pics in five mins then must edit using adobe photoshop after that send in to Mr Zo,our lecturer.UGH!!!this is fugly!oh god!

im going to flung for my test.

this is not good KAT!!!

hahahahaha.

nevermind...already expecting so.

wonder what are my marks.

hahahahaha

my exams are coming...

ddduuurrrr....

all assignments hanging??

lalalalalalalla

okay okay....

gtg.brb.

wanna head home.got dance..got show soon...

bye class.bye mr zo.

iqbal nak ape?

ahmad muackz!

hahahahaha

crap sak kat!

lol:)

my classmates are having great time laughing

one word 'BITCHES"

hahahahahaahahha

happy birthday!!!

2009-05-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAFIQ!!!:)

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to SYAFIQ!!!

happy birthday to you...

Syafiq finally turn 19.Soon you're turning 20 already.Time go fast.Its gonna feel diffrent when the first digit changed 2 you know.you know what i mean.

Anyway,just wanna wish a happy 19th birthday to you!harap panjang umur dan murah rezeki slalu.be happy always okay??

good luck n all the best in every single thing you do.

succeed in life and have a bright future okay sweets!!!

you know i love you!

hahahahaha.

bye darling!!!

wakakakakakakaka.

only gentarasa ppl know whats going on between you and me.

bye baby!:)

see you in gentarasa prac!

gentarase press conference falls on your birthday...

no marah marah...

happy happy...

everyone sings for you...

paisey?

rk?

hahahahahaa.

happy birthday!!!

2009-05-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to YOU!

happy birthday to ZUREEN!!!

happy birthday to YOU!...

hey,ZUREEN...happy birthday!!!:)

hahahaha.

sorry lovely...no presents for you.only wishes.but its the hearts that counts.hahahaha.erm...was glad that i saw you accidentally outside on your birthday.get the chance to meet you and wish you.thank god!anw hoping you and nurin will last long as strong as now...okay dude?!?!tc of her know.if not you kena!!!hhahahaha.

harap panjang umur dan murah rezeki.

have a bright future!:)

LOVE YOU!!!:))

see you soon!

*huggies*

its all a test?

2009-05-08T02:03:00.000-07:00

didnt know how to react whenever i see you.how to be myself.how to treat you like how i use to.its all different now.dont you agree with me?always remind myself 'be myself .be myself.'i tried so hard sometimes its just too obvious.i keep running away.laugh when its not funny,angry when its excitement,quiet when its enjoyment...
you leave me behind.im still here.looking at you everytime...is it your first time?i dont know.its just hurts me alot.piss off?yes,totally!no limits to everything?im being the slut?a'ah...nope!not me.forcing myself to fight you back.sometimes i feel that you are just testing me.testing out my patience.are you?she keep saying 'stop looking at him.just continue.he just testing you out.test him back.show him you could do what he could do.'i tried.i forced myself.but i didnt have the heart to do it.'sumpah tak sampai hati sak'.i did.but halfway...end up i guess i was the one still sufferring,hurt...burning inside.but you?guess you enjoyed...
i was surrounded at certain time,i was alone at certain time,i was trying to distract myself,while you were 'busy',you look at me.you watched me...why??were you?ugh!
you do what you are not supposed to do.ya i know,im invisible to you.yes i am...fine yes,im not someone to stop you.im no one to you...
asking ppl if im angry with you?asking if im piss off with you,deep inside i am!you know yet you ask!nah,i dont show it.especially to you.'this is what ppl call acting!'im acting dude!im acting!!!trying trying trying...forcing to act normal.ugh!get it??

wth?!?

2009-05-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

i knew it.

told you so...

again i didnt attend school...

wth?!haha.couldnt wake up.what you expect?i got no alarm clock.my mum dont wake me up no more.plus i slept like in the this morning.anw,the plan goin to ite simei was confirmed with kak ziah.thx to fazlina who called me at two and i was woke up by the call.thnk u.

clean my room.take a nice freshing up bath.siap siap then go out.meet up with fazlina at my crib.haha.she waited for me.sorry...luckily abg man is there to entertain you.so ya..went down,accompany her to look for contact lens,just around my area actually.haha.after that she went back to school.well,her school is near my place,thats why call me to accompany ah?hahaha.

as for me,i went down to kallang to meet up with kak ziah after that.syafiq tag along with us.last minute.kesian syafiq was from sch sey...so we reach ite simei about five plus?suppossed to come earlier.sorry acap.i was late.you can keep the red carpet for next time okay??:)

before we get to enter the school,we must take stupid temp.irritating sey...proceed to cafe1 first to grab some drinks.guess what?i saw cherry.haha.my former classmate.and cherry,you dont have to inform the whole cafe that im there you know.haha.you called my name few times and reall,its very loud.haha.i know you're excited and shock to see me in ite simei but chill girl.i wasnt ten meters away from you.lol:) so cute la you cherry...

ooooo.azlan-aaahhhh!hey didnt expect im going to see you there.you noticed me from far ar??gd gd.haha.thx for tegur-ing also.guess you were rushing.sorry that i shouted your name.haha.was shock la dey!was dreaming when you bit me.azaln-aaahhh,haiyo..hahahahaha:)

so after that tegur-ing,we all proceed to the field.tujuan yg patut ditujui.haha.sememang memangnye.we took a sit and...first thing first me kak ziah and syafiq,we look out for our mates.SHAHRULNIZAM,AUDI BENJAMIN & ACAP...

hahahahaha.watch them play..we did enjoy ourselves there.haha.we make fun of ppl.oops!oh ya!glad to see you noor.haha.didnt know you could notice me too.while i dont recognise you.sorry...you look shy though.haha.well,known each other for yrs but only met today?haha.funny...and audi,thx for telling your friends my name,call me for nothing ar.audi step dont know ar.cant be bothered know.step knl only...dduuurr.rolling eyes*

anw,after their trg which ends roughly around seven,me kak ziah and syafiq wait for them outside the toilet.waoit them fresh up,change all...whatever la.me acap and yan went to cafe2 while the rest went to cafe1.thx acap treat me redbull...lucky i drink half,cos th other half spill.fuckerdoma*sorry acap...huhu:( finally too,i get the fbt shorts.been waiting since last yr for you to give it to me acap.okay proceed to cafe1 meet the rest then we ramai2 head to tamp...

acap yan me kak ziah and shahrul dropped at tamp inter.e rest audi and syafiq meet up with william and haizal at stadium gym.work out la katekan...

miss you acap and yan!!!they went home..me kak ziah head to mac..play laptop.nothing better to do.haha.shahrul dont know go where...

tried calling ayul...thought of meeting him jap ke.sigh...kinda miss him though.but nah...he didnt came down.its okay.theres always a next time aye??:) i hope...

kak ziah coincidencely met her old girlfriend.they had long conversation.happy gile member!:)haha.i played lappy je.layan diri sendiri...lol:)
the guys meet us up at mac after their workout katekan...they had their dinner then halfway me and kak ziah went off to hougang meet up with dikin,shafiq,anuar and some hougang ppl at Rk.syafiq went home.couldnt stand with the missunderstanding between the rest...thats why i decide to go off.its just a missunderstanding...why must get freaking angry??if you do have problem with me,then just say it lar...you dont have to give me hints that you do have problem with me know...sickening.ugh..

it hurts!

hot topic at Rk.

what else when all gentarase ppl get together sey.haha.of cos,about gentarase.the bad,the good,the problems...the fun....everything la...from a to z!end up,i reach home at 3am.dikin sent me home.hougang not far from amk.lucky...thx dikin!:)

end up,the rest chill till 6am!!!

oh god,kecoh...still on the hot topic.just never ending story.hahahaha.

the next day,got sch and also gentarase trg.

dont think i could wake up again.

my throat.

its been hurting.ive been coughing non stop.i think im goin to die soon.huhu:)

wtf!!!

seriously...saket mak oi!!!

every morning i will feel the same thing.sick like fuck!headache freaking heavy!by late afternoon then i will feel slightly better.my neck also..

haiyo..whats happening?!fuck lar.

dont feel right.dont see it going right.

myself?nah dont think so...

dont feel the shit.dont feel the shit.

ya okay...whatever.....

just another day

2009-05-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

nothing really happen today.now im at emmah's place right now.everyone is asleep.except for me...not sure what time wanna head home.no worries.emmah stay just opp my block.haha.i know,yes we are neighbours.lol:) i was late for gentarasa.it starts at one but i came in like at five.im sorry for being late for prac.its sunday.firstly i woke up at one.secondly,my parents...they wont let me out till i finish doin my chores and stuff in the kitchen.well,have to.besides im e only daughter.what do you expect?tell me?!i know mdm mas is kinda piss off with me.but ya...just stay quiet.thats the best.again everyone is faking.i think will gain like few more kgs.seriously...gentarasa food is heavy.ice creams.chocolates.cookies.sweet drinks.mee.rice...dance prac?yes we did but it wont be able to burn all the cholestrol know.its not enough.im confused abt gentarasa.just goin with the flow.listen and just following the instructions given.ppl hating me in gentarasa?rumours in gentarasa?i dont know.dont care.everyone aint perfect.not me either.we left with one month plus before the day of performance.dancing hiphop in gentarasa?cant really do that.im not feeling it enough.but i have to.its the storyline...but its finished.just brushing up.cant wait to learn the super duper oldies tradisional malay dance.confirm chalengging.syiok!!!haha.anw tmr school starts at 11.and im still here.lol:)lifeskill??OH GOD!wonder if i could wake up.i need someone to wake me up.photography class in the afternoon.ends at five.dont think im goin.might be meeting kak ziah instead.just maybe.going with me to ite simei to watch and support Bboys soccer trg.especially ACAP!haha.go there for him.miss him alot.my classmate and bestman for straight four yrs in sec sch.haha.cool!!!confirm terkejut.sch?slack to the max!not sure why...especially photography.i think im going to flung this term.sorry mr zo.prodution goin quite well.i hope.haha.been finishing up productions ass but not photograhy.haiyo...exams coming soon.not yet revise anth.1st june exam..ddduuurr...so many things coming up.dance performances.dance comp.school.cca.cca meetings.dance meetings.silat meetings.huhuhuhu.IM MAD!!!!!
after gentarasa,went out to newton food place just to chill and drink with kak ziah,haikal,dikin,syafiq and myself.before that i was with niza and zul.haha.okay...oh ya.for a minit or maybe two,i ride,pillion on dikin's motor without an helmet.haha.i wore my hat instead.it symbolise my latest helmet.lol:) then eleven plus went home with syafiq and haikal.as usual...so ya.reach yck their 72 ends alrd.haha.we sit down at yck inter,slowly one by one went home.syafiq,went home ride motor.fren fetch.haikal,ride car,fren also fetch.haha.as for me?i walk home from yck.lol:)
here i am back at emmah's place.da la.nak go home..wanna get some sleep...okie dokie.good night ppl.you know i love you.NOT!hahahaha
wakakakaakkakakakaka

"BIBI I MISS YOU LAR BITCH"

paranoid,soon

2009-05-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

i dont know why.i dont see myself moving.i know and i do realise that i always and never fail to write stuff abt u.but i cant stop myself.i need time out.i am,but its not working.i miss you.seriously...we are friends,sure im glad that we are.but,are we even behaving like we are friends?tell me abt it...ask yourself.sometimes i just feel im faking.trying to act per normal,smiling,being as loud as usual,crazy as usual,nuts as usual,joke ard especially with you..well?not anymore i guess?no!please.in every way i show you,i show them that i will not forget.why?i dont love you.i love you as a friend.but every sec i miss you.always want to meet up with you.everytime i see you,yes,im happy.deep inside im angry.UGH!why?i love someone else so is that why you turn away?is that why you easily give up on me?is that why you say im not fit enough for you?is that the way to settle things up?alright,maybe?being true to me to yourself its way better than lying.fine!but why did you turn away?i thought you could help me forget that someone else.i thought you will be the one cheering me up all the time.i thought you will always make my day.kiss my forehead?do push up,sit up hand stand,head stand at night?do monkey bars for me?do stupid stunts for me?always be the last one to hug me?give a shoulder to cry on?just for the one you loved?god damn it!i try not to cry every night.like hello whats the point bitch?!but when im angry i cry.easily...when im confused i cry.when im sad i cry.when i just cant let it out i cry.it hurts crying...
i know soon you will hate me more.soon you aint going to treat me like a friend no more.soon you will avoid me.soon you will treat me way different from others.soon we are strangers.soon you get paranoid with me.soon you feel like beating me up.soon you will always be bad mood and angry with me whenever you see me.soon you are just not yourself with me.soon you will be faking yourself.soon soon just soon.....
will you?i hope not.i dont want to.please dont.ill stop.one day.not now.you have to help me.treat me like how you use to treat me when we first time met.remember we are friends?start afresh...strangers,friends,close friends,bestfriends...hmm?how?you still like me?erm,whats the point again??ahhhhh FUCK.
can we settle this?wait!thought we alrd did?okay..i know im the problem one.im sorry...forgive me.i need to know whats in your mind right now.honest.truthful.i want to know whats in your heart right now?your feelings?sincerely.honestly.truthfully..can do that?wanna try going out just the two of us?see what will happen?have you ever wonder what will happen?i always wonder.wanna try it out.i myself not sure how will it turn out?haha.nak try tak?not kidding.lol:)
i hope all this wont affect my sweet seventeen.cause every year,when my birthdate is closer.life will jus get worse.happiness will only last for a day.then thats it.e rest just hurting myself up...every yr sak!bile mau happy ending?dream on KAT!CHEER ME UP!!!please.....NO GUYS FOR NOW.WANNA BE LESBIAN.should i?i think i should??:)

yawn....*

yuuuhuuuu

2009-05-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

siku seven seven knock knock

hello!hey you!yes you!FUCK OFF!
hahaha.ELIZAAAAA!!!!!GILE...hahahaha
FAZLINA go home??haiyo.
blablabla.
Afie and friends are here @ starbucks plaza singapura.
blablabla.

sorry didnt meet you today bibi.i need sometime on my own.just
away with them skejap.skejap je.like few hours.haha.dont know la.long story.pendekkan,280409!!!
siku seven seven knock knock
i know you promised them alrd to meet up with them thats why i dont mind you with them.though i miss you like fuck.but ya...just have to.promise is still a promise know.im at starbucks from 8pm.till now...nth to do actly.just chill with Eliza.sigh.i hope you have fun with them though.Bitch miss you.
anw,AUDI MISS YOU!!!!aaarrrgghhh..
hhahahahahahahha.hope you have fun with him too.hahahaha
chill la girl..dont make it to obvious.lol:)
you know i know.

i'm not sure why im blogging and whats my intention of doin this.but well just feel like typing only.still not okay.IM NOT OKAY!!!
I SUCKED!!!ME yes ME!!!

okay okay.MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!!!like in TWO WEEKS TIME!!!
hahahahahaha.16 MAY MAY MAY MAY..
SWEET 17th...
yuuuuhhhhuuuu...
i love you i love you i love you
i love ME!!!

i want presents!ADIDAS NIKE BABY PHAT RIPCURL HANDPHONE IPOD LAPTOP DRESSES...what else what else what else???
name me BITCH!

da la..malas nak continue.hati saket... :(
nak nangis larrrr..
no no no no no
tahan bitch!
bla bla bla

sick of love

2009-04-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

'Don't go to guys,let be the guys who go to you'

That is what my mum always say.She keep reminding me the same thing whenever she finds out that i'm in contact with anyone.I agree,somehow.Its true,somehow.I guess.
Muhammad Zulhaili, the first guy i in contact with.Actually, he is a old friend of mine.Ya we meet back.haha.Its funny on how we get together,nope wasn't attached to him.but it didn't last long.Even though we were just in contact but ya somehow he dumped me.i didn't go to him.he came to me.Well,i don't lose out?!haha.So ya...
Next was Muhammad Noh.Okay fine this time round i start the fire.sorry.sigh...fine fine wasn't supposed to.So ya again not attached to him.NOPE!did't want to.expecting but never expected.but somehow i guess i lose out abit.just a bit..haha.but ya not yet giving up.still hoping.no response!!!!haha.who cares!go to hell with him.Fucking asshole.oops!sorry dude.okay okay.im just having time talking about this guys
Next was Muhammad Haikal.haha.he nothing lar.just friends.he just like playing games.i played his games a bit here and there but i did say in my previous post that Shahrulnizam was way better than Haikal.but i take my words back.as a friend Haikal is okay or maybe alright.okay i dont see any diff but if more than friends nope.Shahrulnizam still is.haha.okay okay.Haikal and his games.LOL:)
Last and not least,who else ppl?!?!hahaha.MOHAMMAD SHAHRULNIZAM BIN SALIM!!!
so ya...again i failed!get it??so thats why,posted out as SICK OF LOVE!lol:) people peolple!!!listen!!!this time please dont dont dont BLAME SHAHRULNIZAM for what is happening.told him that before.really.its not his fault.Its my fault.I SUCK!!!i really do.i was about to...nah nvrm.forget it.sigh..just facing up!hmm ermm..who go to who??errr i shall say..he go to me.then?i dont know.it just happen.WAIT!it didnt stop there.me and him WE ARE FRIENDS!!!or maybe BESTFRIENDS!!!he will be there for me.i know he will.i trust him.do you??
SHAHRULNIZAM is sitting right beside me right now.im posting he is here,reading.Trust me.im not saying this for the sake of sayin.but im being honest and truthful.
MOHAMMAD SHAHRULNIZAM BIN SALIM...wanna say that i really really really THANK YOU very very much for being very TRUTHFUL AND HONEST towards me.hey hey hey...maybe finally im saying this...
I LOVE YOU!!!:)
hahahahahahahahhahahaha
(its easy to start smoking but it ain't easy to stop smoking.its easy to START LOVING YOU,but it ain't easy to STOP LOVING YOU)
only me and shahrul knows*

hey i hope you will find someone way much better than me.i really do.ill support you hustler!!!hahahahahaha.eh eh eh i your BESTFRIEND know.remember that okay??share share!!!
da da go smoke go.go smoke.

i knew it!

2009-04-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

hahahahaha.
i just have to start with laughters.lol:)
anyway...after school i went home straight.FAD and FATIN followed me home due to something that FAD wants to borrowed from me.so ya..FATIN accompany FATIN,whatever...it was FAD's SEVEN ANNIVERSARY!!!wohoooo!!!CONGRATULATIONS...haha!okay okay...hope you enjoyed babe.well she didnt attend sch tdy.hahahaha.FAD FAD...lol:)
i didnt have plan ytd.suppose to have class to teach but it was cancel last mint due to some changes.i was happy though.cause i need to do some writing meeting stuff for OAC.so ya...just the right timing, SYAFIQ text me asking to come down to chill at kallang,as usual blue hall..with KAK ZIAH and HAIZAL.haha..so i get myself changed i make my way to kallang.i was lucky cause kak ziah brought along her lappy.so i cld do my work while chilling.before that i met up with FIZA.kiwak lame ekh tgu dier.lame gilenye...i was out alrd when i receive her msg saying that she alrd on her way to my plce to get her stuff from me.i went home again grab her stuff and text her to meet me at yck station n she dont have to tap out instead.since im taking the train too and she stayed tpy.so i waited about an hour?wtf?!her own her way also can tahan ar.well mlayu..me too!lol!oops!ssshhhh...hahaha.then SHAHRULNIZAM text me.haha.WIILLIAM ask to meet at town?wth?!im like using track pants and some jersey.no way im heading to town.hahaha!anw.somehow plan changed now everyone meeting at blue hall.lucky!besides SHAHRULNIZAM RINDU KAT!!!so yeah...haha*wink wink*
i cldnt take it.i gave a call to Fiza,she say she taking bus to meet me instead,and she still waiting for the freaking bus.its like 8.30pm alrd?oh god!im supposed to reach blue hall before 8?!!?so plan changed,again.i ask her to meet at bishan mrt instead.ill wait her there.so bus 13 from tpy will take shorter time.again ive to wait for her.then i bump to NURUL AZLIZAH!!!!!i take the chance to wish her... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:) hahahaha.i know im cute!lol.her birthday was on 21st APRIL!yeah yeah...lucky me!*huggies* okay back to topic... so ya...nurul went off.like FINALLY fiza turn up,with effy(boyfriend).effy was from soccer trg.so i rushed to tpy,took 26 and head to kallang.lucky the bus came quick.at last i reach 2045??sorry guys...my bad.
I saw AUDI BENJAMIN and SHAHRULNIZAM when i was walking on my way to the blue hall.they bought food then suddenly saw SYAFIQ and PAMELA!!!hahaha.hug them all!!!lol.nuts!Syafiq send Pamela home.Audi went off first left me and sweet Shah.so ya...chill at blue hall..do my stuff joke around.hahahaahhaa!!!

hi you!diam diam lepu ekh?!my pic is with you?haha.its sweet of you.really...ure such a funny guy.so funny so wild so naughty very irritating but yet so shy.hahahaha.very tall also.im sooo SHORT!!!haha.sorry...hey its good that we're straight forward know.thanks Audi and Haizal.disturb disturb,making things worse know.well,i have to admit he is so much better than Haikal.im sorry,but ya..its the fact.i think everyone will agree with me on that.but again,ppl please please...dont jump to conclusion that i got feelings for anyone.stop assuming when you dont know anything!thx ppl!:)
i care for my friends especially the one that im close with.even to a girl or to a guy.it doesnt make any diff.if i would like someone it would come once in a blue moon.you can call me a fucking play girl?!but...i dont simply go to guys.or fuck guys ard!well I DONT!!!im always been patience and always try to save the friuendship,but if you treat me like im not exist,then FUCK YOU!FUCK OFF!!!well,i rather moved on and be with someone who is sincere being friends with me!get it??so ya....
hey you!you chill okay.take things slowly.all d best and good luck.i hope yo could tahan.better!alrigh??ill act as if i dont know.dont worry.stop thinking of what they say...peace!!!msg me!!!hahahahahah... *huggies*

durr...ur pic is with me too!fair enough??hahaha

in class

2009-04-21T01:02:00.000-07:00

nothing better to do?

today just one lesson.DPH! after school got gentarasa trg.so last minute info.its been two weeks i didnt attend for LNT prac.plan to go today.SUDDENLY,mdm mas text saying got trg today at carnhill cc!miss prac again...sorry guys!ill come on thursday.street fest is coming.i wanna be involve.its goin to be fun!haha.i guess.i just have to miss other trgs now...durr!what reason?what other reasons left?

getting my pay next month.wth?!its already five months.sigh...so many sch projects coming up!not been doing any.dont know where to start how to start.sch have been put aside.dance?have been goin,attending,wth?!whats with me?dance important more?durr...FUCK SIA ME!

oh ya.ppl,come on!aidil where you?!?!?come sch!!!we whole class concern sey..haiya!and and and DSLR CAMERA is still with you.return it back lar.so come sch okay??teachers all worry know.since sch reopens you didnt attend sch at all.i know your motor prac is more important then sch but chill bro??sch is still sch you know.its DAVP!!!it aint easy.you dont want to get DEBA!for NOTHING!!!wth?!hais.come sch lar dude!BABYJU you also!where you?sick?always sick lar you?haiya...

okay okay...class dismissed!!!

incomplete

2009-04-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

Its disappointing.

firstly,you didnt even let me know that you're away for awhile.i know you wont be back soon.i dont even know exactly when you went.Secondly,since you're away i dont think you are coming for finals.Its not complete!Without you being there i dont feel complete...instead your friends are the ones coming down to support?!?!i appreciate their attendance.really much appreciated,but im sad.Im not sure if you remembered even.Im not sure if you would come if you could.I wonder why it happen all in a sudden...to move away??sigh...i feel real down.

Miss you already.Miss you even more.

i just hope my predictions are correct,that you'll be back when sch reopens and things go back as per normal between us??

me&you

2009-04-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

hey,i just wanna tell you and do keep in mind that,i still care about you.Whatever it is at the end of the day i dont want to lose you.And when you're ready to talk to me,do tell me,cause im always there for you...

yes,me and you its complicated between us.you've been keeping quiet since friday.few days has alrd pass?!why?everyday i did my part.but yet i dont receive any response from you.

i miss you

miss when you hold me tight

hug me forever

kiss me peacefully

touched me gently

carry me high

point me deeply

care me sweetly

sacrifice sincerely

trust?trust me fully??

like me?how??

honest?being honest greatly??

love me?do you??

lies?yes lies??......

yes,i trust you fully...yes,i like you as you are...yes,im always been honest towards you...love you??i do love you...lies??never ever...

why are we ending up this way?are we even ending up?or its just the start?what are my mitakes??what are my wrongdoings??i need to know.to know to learn from my mistakes...

bottom line is,DONT LEAVE ME cause I DONT WANT TO LOSE YOU...

still in PAIN??

2009-03-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

On 27 march,friday....

The OAC committe when on to a recce started out at KENT RIDGE-HORTPARK-HENDERSON WAVES-MOUNT FABER,and finally end up at VIVO CITY....total of only pathetic 17 ppl came sey...haiyo!when its supposed to be 20?GARY was sick.HAKIM paitao oi!thx ekh?!nvrm...we still have fun!its a hiking tau.we walk all the way...its just a recce so we took our time la.MS MARY was there with TANKI too.both guard us actually.okay lar...da lame tak uat keje mcm ni...penat jgk ekh.it lasted for two hours...

before...

i was early but MATNO lmbt ekh.terpakse trn yishun.wait for him at platform...ZANNA was already waiting for us at bb.she waited for us since 7.30am ekh?!FAD ntah kemana.hp da takde.susah nak contact.chaeck check da smpi dulu.haiyo...tak salahkan lar.anw like wth,i woke up like 5.30am oi!excited kot?!haha.okay...finally we reach...BUONA VISTA!...oh oh oh before that MATNO last mint ekh curi silkpro nye shampoo dlm train.kecoh!he took two.haha.one for ZANNA...and and and not forgetting,MATNO dngr lagu lagu jiwang larrr......well it was his mum mp3.so ya...latest tau...serious!trust me it was.i was listening to it also larr...ssssshhhhh!

after...

SENTOSA!!!thats where we go after the recce,hiking and stuff.we have thousands of fun at sentosa.oh ya...and the craziest thing happen to me was 'KAT DROWNED!'haha.tell you its damn funny.HAMBALI believe in me that i could swim till the other side,but truly speaking i was scared.yet he say he will swim with me but no he didnt.he was behind me instead of my side.i was cramped out that i stop swimming in the middle.hello!im short.i couldnt reach the ground by then.so i drowned??haha.but lucky MATNO save me.thx MATNO!he grabbed my hand.lol:) so funny lar.everyone was like laughing.me too!haha.okay okay.it only lasted for few mins.the drowning part only a few secs.wakakaka!okay okay.so to short ppl out there,BECAREFUL when ure out to sea.wakakakakaka!!!oh ya...we played beachball too.I LOVE IT!!!everyone look dump playing,cause none of us knew how to play perfectly.still we have the heart to vs with another group pf ppl.come on ITE AMK!!!hahahahahah.end up we lost BADLY.so funny so cute yet so dump!overall we do really have fun.and our bonding between the first years and second years are going great!not forgetting...ZANNA and FAD was carried by HAMBALI and MATNO out to sea.THANKS to ME!duh...who else right??hahaha.so EVERYONE was wet.lol:)fair enough??cant wait for our next outing.!

hungry?everyone is...so next!we proceed to vivo top spot.sentosa journey has ended.most went home actually.cause too tired after whole day of exercised??haha.so yeah left with ME ZANNA FAD HAMBALI MATNO IDHAM DAVID AMEL and,shit i forget his name.okay im sorry.anw ya only us..we took pics for the whole entire night.MATNO was excited with the SLR camera.well,he didnt know the magic things the SLR could do.thats why,amazed?he is!haha.at the same time,we played a game,called '7up'.if not,everyone will be falling asleep already.oh ya!e fourfeet that and ME and MATNO has to do was embarrassing lar.we have to approach to a bunch of 'banglas'??and take a pic with them saying 'i love you' to them.which we really did know.really...hahaha!haiyo.FAD and ZANNA has to do a runway in front of many ppl.all this THANKS to the game.cool uh??most of this MATNO the mastermind!ermm...so ya,at ten plus everyone went off to HomeSweetHome!!!

WWWUUUUHHHUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

he came back

2009-03-16T01:17:00.001-07:00

i didnt wanna create a blog but i just have to cause SOME ppl just ask me to,somehow...so ya:)

he came back...he just did.i was at ZOUK ytd ,with KIKI,KAKA and HAFIZ...and yeah ALEP haha, okay as i was saying...i didnt know what makes me text him.i just have the feeling that he's there too.just somewhere around me.i msg...
kat: "are you in a club?maybe at ZOUK?"
him: "im at ZOUK.now outside smoking."
kat: "oh okay.im inside.
him: "meet me outside."
kat: "now?inside instead?"
him: "meet me outside toilet pat atas."

so i went.i met him.DAMN IT!oh god.its been a month.Like hello?!A MONTH?!now you decide to come back??ugh!hais...but to be honest,i do miss him.
he hug me.he did...whats that for??you kissed me??(just a kiss on the cheek and forhead je
ekh?!)again...whats that for??WTH!!!

ya...okay.i've been waiting for you.all this while i was waiting...but you just come and go as you wish and as you want.why??why sometimes you look for me??for?smpi carik dlm sch?sanggup trn?call non stop?asking ppl abt me?then....??thts it?stop your nonsense.stop acting strange.you know i do still want you,dont you??but...NO!ive STOPPED!!!im sick and tired...of YOU!
now you're FREE to FLIRT with other girls.to say 'MISS YOU' to them.to give KISSES to them.who are you to me?!?!i've move on.i want to move on...

hey hey hey...my first club sia!!!lol at ZOUK or what?!haha.KAT meerepek.ala...ttp underage.boring.haha.cant believe i saw my schmates.OH SHIT!!!bocor rahsia.oh god...but tell you i had fun.tired yes.but who cares?!HAFIZ kecoh....tak nak ckp.you know i know.ALEP lagi...jgn ckp ar.all the way pat podium.haha.KIKI finally ekh naik podium.you go girl.KAKA tak yah ckp,experience da...haha me??hanye tuhan saje la yg tau.oops!really trust me...many things,interesting things happen but lazy la nak type...haiyo...but whoever went to the ROMP should know then.nak tau kagi lanjut silalah beli suratkhabar harian!!!kwangkwangkwang.

KAT da merepek...bored........