Y Thursday, August 27, 2009
to you,
thats it! thanks for everything. i was sobbing last night because of you. thanks for all the hopes. thanks for all the trust. thanks for all the concern. thanks for all the hug. thanks for all the kisses. thanks for all the care. thanks for all the messages and calls. thanks for being there for me. thanks for all the wake up call. thanks for believing. thanks for all the laughters. thanks for the love? thanks for the challenge!
guess i won the challenge you have challenged me. thanks for losing in this game. look who is the one couldnt stand with who. look who is the one giving up and decide to move on instead of waiting. look who is the one " sanggup ke tak sanggup?" told you so, "im patience".
you throw all my love that i treasured for you. i thought you showered me yours too but guess i was wrong about it. everyday, every hour, every mins, every secs its you that i see always. both in my mind and heart. all these have to put to a stop. no point! no point having this feeling anymore.
me: " hey i know its late. sorry to disturb you at this timing. i dont think this concerns you at all, maybe it does but just a lil a bit?i dont know. or you knew... but just wanna let you know i just misses you very much. hope to see you soon. really... and i'll look for your blue baju kurung okay okay??:)) sorry kalau irritating, night sweets! "
you: "kat. sorry i didnt reply your msg. just to let you know that im attached now. about the baju kurung. im sorry. my parents suroh tukar colour. sorry for everything. "
i couldnt reply. i didnt reply. just as easy as that right dude? i couldnt sleep last night. thinking about it and sobbing too much. i keep reading your messages. is it just a reason? to avoid? am i supposed to believe it? whatever... i kept your first few messages. i read it again, maybe before i would delete it... it makes me smile but it ends me crying again. gosh! i couldnt stop and handle it. sorry...
im not disappointed with you. im disappointed with myself. failed in love again. great! just great! fifth time in a row for this year. congrats to Kat??
oh ya, i have a huge hatred to guys right now. sorry guys. maybe im just not being lucky. nah, guys? forget it. trusting you? will take years now. thanks to the bunch of guys that i date. sorry...
me: "i hope you'll forgive me. i seriously do. im sorry. but please stop contacting me. i dont want to have any relations with you at all. sorry. forget me. thanks! "
i sent this to my closest guy friend and a date of mine. im sorry guys. forgive me to end 'us'. how i end up with guys pull me downs each time. yes, im a bastard! Kat is a Bastard!!!.. i agree, i admit i am...
to date,
im sorry that i have to this to you. getting you involve in the situation. but i couldnt help it. im sure you can find someone better than me. im sure someone out there would treat you better than i did. i need to let go everything. please forgive me. dont hate me. but if you do, its okay i understand. please dont jump to conclusion that i have someone else in mind, use to though. well, i dont. after what you read, you might understand why. SORRY...
lastly, to you,
hey, i really hope you're happy with the girl you with now. i pray both to have a longlasting relationship and be happy always. you happy, i more happy! :))) no worries. i can assure you i dont hate you. we are still friends you know!:) maybe we are better off as friends?? and im happy for you. like i said im not disappointed with you. its me dude. so do take care of yourself. and of course your dearie. would like to meet her one day?:))) hahahahahaha... just beep me anytime aye? i hope you read this mr! * wink wink *
love, Kat...
Labels: dont hate me
Y Wednesday, August 26, 2009
im in class right now. ending soon. just posting something short. i think. anw, what is on my mind right now, is what am i doing ltr. i got dance prac for this sat's performance. but im not in the mood to perform for this sat. im sorry everyone. im just not up to it. im just not confident for this show. forgive me... still deciding to come down or not. sigh...
i got assingment to do. partnering with nana k. but she is no where to be found. she meets yanbo outside class, so ya. see why im blogging instead?
i miss Rosziana Bibi. sorry girl for not attending prac and fail to meet you.
this friday im heading back to my sec sch. its teachers day. they are celebrating. wuhuuuu! i was supposed to do a come back performance but cancelled in the end. disappointed a bit but nah its okay. i'll still come down though. canat wait to meet the rest. not sure what to wear. aint attending class. yup yup!:)
its fasting month. im alright. still maintaining. just craving for BotakJones' mashed potato with cheese. wanna make for myself today if im breaking fast at home. hmm, and im still dont have any intention to break fast early. congrats.
i was bloghopping just now.
i was looking thru my crew mate's profile. Kiki especially...
really, to be honest... i miss the whole bunch of LURVE n TERM.
been missing prac for quite sometime. quite long maybe.
since then i didnt meet them.
miss all the fun they had. miss all the outings they make. miss all the stories they told. miss heading all the way to BBcc. miss simply evrything.
im not kidding. i feel down whenever i give a thought when im heading back to prac as usual.
i hope you guys hear me out there, I MISS YOU GUYS DEADLY!!!:((
i'll come down soon okay? i meet you guys. we update update aye??
wanna dance again with you ppl. raye again ramai ramai.
okay, im not crying.. please.. hold back hold back Kat!
sorry...
you know 'i love you'...
forgive me...
i wanted to attend this thurs for prac but i still have unfinished shooting. they promise thurs will be the last and finishing touch and also last scene. i hope so. cause i need to get my feet back to dance prac. i really do. scheduled always touch my tues and thurs. damn it. what to do. hey, is not that im not sincere helping but i freaking need to learn to manage my time. i admit im bad at it. totally... :(( my sunday is booked for yckcc comittment. sigh... ugh!
Labels: miss LNT
Y Tuesday, August 25, 2009
i know you have feelings for me. its obvious and you admit it yourself. im not sure if you're serious being with me. but im not ready to have anything serious with you yet. i just know you. you're just my date. you know that. your moves you done for me, i wont fall for that easily. how sincere you are i just need time to believe it so. sometimes you are too nice to me. too gentlemen for me. too sweet to me. too good for me. when myself? i dont treat you the same. im sorry but this is me. dont think i deserve guys like you. im sure you can find better girls out there who can treat you the same. you kept thinking about me, thats what you said, but in my mind is not you. its someone else. you should know who im referring to. i told you about him, remember?. you sacrifice for me too much already. and please, you know, I DONT NEED ALL THIS...
1.waited for me for an hour just to accompany me for dinner.
2.accompany me till 2am,waiting for kak zea's arrival which end up she didnt.
3.took taxi home and i know you're tired but still waited.
4.wait for me under my block for hours just to send me to school. without telling me.
5.wait patiently for my text when i dont reply your msges for days.
6.accompany me from home to joo chiat to prac and i force you to head home cause you wanna stayed.
7.fetch me from shoot,send me to prac,wait till prac ends, send me home and head home again.
8.give me cash when you find out i dont have cash. wth?!sacrifice your own money for what?!?! goodness!!!
9.and your blog!...
like i said, its too much. you know i wont say yes and agree whatever you want to do for me. you still did and make white lies to me. how stubborn can you be? tell mama about me? whats all that for?again?... im not being not appreciating your deeds at all. i do. i seriously appreciate everything you did for me. but again im not falling for it. and the reason i dont like it and accept it cause i feel wrong, i feel guilty... im just treating you as my date. again, date doesnt mean i have feelings for you. my mind, my heart, my feelings is to someone else. dont i sound like a bastard to you?!?! i know you would want to see something between us. but not now. i need time. im sorry. but i love being your friend,i seriously do.
maybe most people around me hates you. but i dont see why i should hate you too. you didnt do wrong to me. maybe you did in the past to them but it doesnt involves me. so im okay. and i hope people dont hate me cause im being friends with you. i love to keep my friends. i treasured my friends. so dont get easily influent by what others say. im not. unless he/she do something bad to me then i have a reason for hating. i hates when people talks about me, disturbed me when sees me with the person they hate. whats the point? none of us is disturbing others, why bother?
hey,one thing for sure...
i know you're not comfortable with them.
but they are my friends.
i hope you understand...
will be meeting you later. i think. breaking fast...
but you not fasting!
ASS:)))
hahahahahahaha...
kurus kurus, haiz...
love, Kat:)))
Labels: forgive me kurus
Y Monday, August 24, 2009
HEY GIRLS! GET A LIFE!!!:) if you want him than by all means have him all you want. i dont give a damn! i dont lose a thing! tak de pompan lain nye name ke nak g sebut? asyik KAT je... eh! tak penat ekh? sikit sikit KAT sikit sikit KAT!!!!ugh!
well, i got nothing to do with him. we're just friends. close perhaps. but thers nothing to get jealous about! im not attached to him. he is not mine! get it GIRLS????
yes i admit, me and him are close, maybe too close at certain times. but again get in mind that "IF YOU WANT HIM THEN TAKE HIM" we are strictly "FRIENDS".. the next thing you have to do is wait if he does want you too or not. its him who decides not me!!!
Once you have him, its between YOU and HIM. not YOU ,HIM and ME??
so again dont get me involve...
thanks!:)
love,KAT:)
Labels: hates it
Y Sunday, August 23, 2009
dear YOU,
everyday i kept thinking of YOU and missing YOU so much.the last time we met and we hang out was on 090809.its been two weeks without noticing.giving up?not yet.im not sure what have become of YOU and me?where have YOU been all this while?after your trip YOU went silence.i can understand that YOU're lazy but being too lazy will not help.what if someone get in YOUr way?who to be blame?me?i tried to be patience with YOU.the one kept looking for YOU is me.not YOU?!?!still have the idea of raye-ing with me,guess so uh?sigh... YOU change thats for sure. YOU weren't like this before. but im still being patience here. i dont wanna mama to ask about YOU. cause if she do i have no answers for her. from there she will start to blame me. we ever talk about 'who can tahan with you' is this part of it? i cant be myself, i cant kept quiet, if i do, YOU will come across my mind. yes,someone is there for me now.yes,someone is trying his best to be there for me.but is not YOU.and im not being comfortable here when my mind is just YOU inside and im just layan-ing someone else.. YOUr name has been always spoke by me to people. even he knows about YOU. even she knows about YOU. i dont hide my feelings that i have towards YOU. im not shy to have YOU in my mind and my heart. maybe YOU're just being lazy to entertain girls. just wanna enjoy with YOUr friends. lazy to have this disturbing feelings.i text you,no replied.i called you,you answered, talk to me as usual and always end the call by saying 'i call you back later' but nope, YOU did not return my call. and always treated as if YOU did nothing wrong. we dont talk everyday, we dont meet up everyday, i cant be the one calling YOU everyday. searching for YOU.now my ppd is low. im just disappointed with YOU. but im forcing and pushing myself to think POSITIVE.i never blame YOU. never did. never will. missing YOU sooo much. sigh... YOU start the fire!its YOU! i hate 2009. i just hate it alot. this isnt my first time been treated this way in this year!all i did was just being patience... hey, ive been THREE YEARS FIVE MONTHS and still ongoing for single status. like i always say to him, if YOU're can take it then its good enough. whenever im ready,YOU're not. im not giving up just yet. im still waiting. im still am. YOU get it? just wanna know if YOU do have and want something between us. cause if YOU dont,i can be patience but i do not want to waste time.so? i need answers.
i hope you read my post.
importantly,"I MISS YOU DEADLY"...
please contact me or text me soon.
i wanna hear from YOU...
love,Kat
Labels: clueless of me
Y Tuesday, August 4, 2009
currently, im in a state of... errrr... missing everyone? i miss most everyone. wondering why...
miss my pri sch friends. miss my sec sch friends. miss my girlfriends. miss my dance mates. miss my cousins. miss people who have brought me up. miss people who see me grow. miss my neighbours.okay i dont know why...but mostly i miss mr.Kental!!!
"aku rindu banget sama kamu sih"
to mr.Kental,
i know yesterday i make a mistake.and im sorry...im truly am.
i was busy with shooting at home then after it was wrap up i went to cc for prac.after that i received msges from Zat.my sweet senior and lovely friend.Zat came down with Hasrul and Faizal.all are senios too.we meet up at cc then chill somewhere near.Me kak Zea and Bb all smelled badly.trust me we are.all sweating.lol:) we had wonderful conversations sampaikan Bb and Kak Zea miss their last bus.No worries cause our lovely heroes is there.Faizal with super4 Hasrul with Gxs,i think not sure what bike also.and Zat with scrambler.
The guys planned to head to johor and i decided to tag along.So they waited for me,i went home and took a bath.after that meet them again.So all of us send Bb first follow by KakZea.guess what?kelakar gile ekh dorg!hahahahaha!you know i know ar...okay then,Hasrul then fetch KakIza while Zat me and Faizal meet them in the middle of some express way towards woodlands checkpoint.three of Hasrul's friends tag along with us too.
i didnt entertain my hone cause i was with 'GUYS' but im the type who dont really like to be busy with phone when out with friends.and plus i was on the bike.anyway,at kastam,i checked my phone and total of 20 miss calls i received from "mr.Kental"!!!oh gosh.im sorry.
i text him told him that i was already at kastam making my way in to johor which i know i wont take long.he didnt believe me at first cause it is something mendadak gitu.i know he was angry or maybe even frust.but ya...my bad.i didnt inform him earlier.sorry.should have i guess.so enter johor pump minyak then take e break for awhile then we head back to Singapore.told you i wont take long.as what i promised to mr.Kental that i text him once i reach singapore.yes,by this time he was really angry but i understand la.so no to worry...
i was home around 4.30am.i called mr.Kental.we talk otp for abt an hour which then i was dead asleep within few mins.otp,i find out that he called mama to reassure that i wasnt lying to him and i was outside.didnt see why he have to actually.not sure whether mama was disturbed in her sleep.however wanna say this to you,
"tal,im sorry to make you worry.im sorry i didnt pick up your calls.im sorry that i didnt inform you earlier.im sorry that i make a mistake.im sorry to make you loose trust in me.im promised that i would not make the same mistake.i promised it wont happen again.and i swear that i never lie to you anything.whatever happens yesterday,whatever i told you,who i was with,i wasnt lying.i dont mind gaining my trust back from you.i know you are angry with me and you dont wanna me to know so.but hey,i know you not only yesterday.i truly understand if you frust with me.forgive me..."
.
love,
your 'Noh'
"aku rindu banget sama kamu sih"
to mr.Kental,
i know yesterday i make a mistake.and im sorry...im truly am.
i was busy with shooting at home then after it was wrap up i went to cc for prac.after that i received msges from Zat.my sweet senior and lovely friend.Zat came down with Hasrul and Faizal.all are senios too.we meet up at cc then chill somewhere near.Me kak Zea and Bb all smelled badly.trust me we are.all sweating.lol:) we had wonderful conversations sampaikan Bb and Kak Zea miss their last bus.No worries cause our lovely heroes is there.Faizal with super4 Hasrul with Gxs,i think not sure what bike also.and Zat with scrambler.
The guys planned to head to johor and i decided to tag along.So they waited for me,i went home and took a bath.after that meet them again.So all of us send Bb first follow by KakZea.guess what?kelakar gile ekh dorg!hahahahaha!you know i know ar...okay then,Hasrul then fetch KakIza while Zat me and Faizal meet them in the middle of some express way towards woodlands checkpoint.three of Hasrul's friends tag along with us too.
i didnt entertain my hone cause i was with 'GUYS' but im the type who dont really like to be busy with phone when out with friends.and plus i was on the bike.anyway,at kastam,i checked my phone and total of 20 miss calls i received from "mr.Kental"!!!oh gosh.im sorry.
i text him told him that i was already at kastam making my way in to johor which i know i wont take long.he didnt believe me at first cause it is something mendadak gitu.i know he was angry or maybe even frust.but ya...my bad.i didnt inform him earlier.sorry.should have i guess.so enter johor pump minyak then take e break for awhile then we head back to Singapore.told you i wont take long.as what i promised to mr.Kental that i text him once i reach singapore.yes,by this time he was really angry but i understand la.so no to worry...
i was home around 4.30am.i called mr.Kental.we talk otp for abt an hour which then i was dead asleep within few mins.otp,i find out that he called mama to reassure that i wasnt lying to him and i was outside.didnt see why he have to actually.not sure whether mama was disturbed in her sleep.however wanna say this to you,
"tal,im sorry to make you worry.im sorry i didnt pick up your calls.im sorry that i didnt inform you earlier.im sorry that i make a mistake.im sorry to make you loose trust in me.im promised that i would not make the same mistake.i promised it wont happen again.and i swear that i never lie to you anything.whatever happens yesterday,whatever i told you,who i was with,i wasnt lying.i dont mind gaining my trust back from you.i know you are angry with me and you dont wanna me to know so.but hey,i know you not only yesterday.i truly understand if you frust with me.forgive me..."
.
love,
your 'Noh'
Labels: aku rindu sama kamu
